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Everyone experiences grief and loss at different times in their lives – we're here for you if you want to talk.

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Check out the Skylight website for more help, activities, and videos to help you cope with grief and loss.


Grief and loss


Grief is the feeling you have when someone dies or leaves your life. You may feel grief and loss after a person or pet you love has died, or an important friendship ends.

You might feel a lot of sadness, you might feel lonely, frightened or feel angry at the people around you, or even the person who has died. This is all OK – there is no right or wrong way to feel.

 Everyone is different, but you might find you:

  • feel like crying a lot, which is natural – or you may not cry much at all, and that’s OK too
  • feel this way for a long time, and these feelings may come and go
  • want to be alone or not talk much
  • struggle to do school work
  • lose your temper or are mean without wanting to be
  • have bad dreams or find it hard to sleep
  • feel lonely or worried because others are sad too
  • worry about your own safety, or for others around you
  • feel relieved if the person who died had been sick for a long time

If you are grieving, it can be a really tough time. But remember, you don’t have to go through it alone and in time things will get better.

How can you deal with grief?

Here are some tips that might help:

  • Ask questions – Remember, it’s OK to ask questions about anything you don’t understand. It’s likely there will be things you’re unsure about or things that are confusing. It’s important to talk to an adult that you trust who will listen to you, support you, and answer your questions. 
  • Spend time with your family and whānau – Share your thoughts, feelings, and memories with each other. Some people find it helpful to look at photos and talk about what you will miss and what was great about the person or pet that has died. 
  • Find a way to say goodbye – You might like to write a letter or poem, speak or sing.