Grief is a very strong feeling you have when someone you love goes away or dies.
Grief is a strong feeling of sadness. It can also make you feel lonely, frightened or angry – you can even feel mad at the person who left you or died. You can feel this way about a person you love, your pet dying, your friend moving away or not wanting to be your friend any more.
There’s no right or wrong way to feel your loss – whatever you feel is OK – and it’s different for each person. You may:
- feel like crying a lot
- not want to cry at all
- want to be alone
- not want to be away from mum or dad
- not want to talk much
- find it hard to do your school work
- lose your temper more than you usually do
- have bad dreams
- find it hard to sleep
- feel lonely
- feel worried because other people are sad too
If someone you loved has died because they were sick, you might even feel relieved.
Losing someone you love is really hard. But there are people who want to help you and things you can do that may help. You could try:
- Asking questions – It’s always OK to ask questions about things you don’t understand or find confusing. Talk to an adult you trust – someone who will listen to you and give you answers.
- Spending time with whānau – Share your thoughts, feelings, and memories with each other. Look at photos and talk about the person who died – what you’ll miss about them.
- Finding a way to say goodbye –write a letter or poem, draw a picture, or speak about the person or sing a favourite song.
- It’s OK to feel sad
- It’s OK to ask questions
- There’s no right or wrong way to feel
You can always call us at 0800 Whats Up – we’re here to help.